Doesn’t everyone know this?! Doesn’t everyone you know, say this?! Usually people are referencing money coming in or dating prospects. I swear. When there is drought, money is tight and no one wants you. When the job(s) are good and the bills are light, it’s like no worries exist. If you aren’t married, and you’re in the dating scene, the options abound and you feel full of yourself. If you are married or focused on one, it’s still an observation that people are ‘on you’, ‘looking at you’, ‘promoting you’ or your work.
I would like to believe I am about to torrential rain on this blogging. I frankly don’t care how trivial. One liners even; I just need to write.
The truth honestly: I am an only child. I have always run my own show. I have always lived alone (minus college and short months with friends, or strangers in strange lands -see! more stories) I still live alone. As an ‘almost my entire life’ entrepreneur, I have also set my own schedule. I am particular, compulsive, regimented and more than twice or 3 times+, have been called ‘militaristic’. This is serious. I am serious. I work with some people. I do not work well with other people, and I am very ok with this.
That was a long-winded description of myself…sailing into the shore trying to articulate how I wish I was under other people’s regiment a little more. It’s fucking HARD being self-disciplined all the damn time. I ache to write more and I almost wish someone were paying me to write daily.
And here is the advice to you and the advice to myself: what we want we have to create. If I want to be paid to write, I need to first prove that I am consistent-willing-capable.
What do you want? BEHAVE as if it exist. Then, it will. It does. It’s inevitable. It’s physics.
Unfortunately, we each think we are capable of holding ourselves accountable, but this is bullshit, and it’s ego.
Life is balance, and often we are living in extremes. Sometimes we need other people to pull us back to center. But yes when it rains, it does pour. And I am still (currently) very glad I don’t live in California.