What If?

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We could live our lives in the state of ‘what if?’. Every day we are one more day ahead of decisions that could’ve been made differently on the day(s) prior. Even when we are confident in the decisions that we make and the path we are choosing, there are always other options. Always.

And this infinite state of options helps to prove my theory for ultimate happiness. Happiness is being happy in the present moment. Our fallibility suggest though, that even when we are ecstatically happy in the present moment, the moment itself holds so much anticipation. And there we are living in the future.

The worst kind of living is ‘in the past’. We can all agree on this, because there is nothing about it we can attempt to control. And it is the worst, because there are no more options for changing it.

My ‘what if’s?’ in life have had more to do with people: how I treated them, how they treated me, if they were still around or not…

What instigated this stream of thought in the first place was going to my first voice coaching lesson. It was suggested to free-style sing but something out of the comfort zone; something that stretches the vocals. 

I heard the song, the first one that came up. It was the one I associated with her because she always loved singing it; the chorus was part mantra. She was also the one I always sang with. We would get up and perform at any opportunity, every party in the very least. I don’t believe in coincidences, so I felt like I was channeling her. We had plans. Here was my ‘what if?’ What if she hadn’t been killed in that car accident? What if she were still in my life? Would I be further along with some personal goals that she always provided encouragement for; she never let me slack, she was my cheerleader like no one else.  

Then here I am back in the present moment thinking, I have to decide. The ‘what if’ is how we stall ourselves; it’s the excuses. 

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