I can gladly say I do not participate in the entrepreneur hustle any longer. Where there is often two sides to one coin in most debates, I am firmly in the reliable consistency camp. Not a day goes by in which I regret jumping ship from shakey waters to calm currents. Having said structure eliminates the freedom of creative time too. I say this as an observation.
There is still an ephemeral part of myself, the multitaster of life’s buffet. A little bit of this, a little bit of that. Per my previous blog post on minimalism: I have already specifically chosen my various directions, interest, tiny projects, reading-writing goals, and family time pockets.
My social life = the natural behavior of an introvert coupled with minimal free time. I beg and plead with myself to attend at least one happy hour a week ~~thrown to the wind as the eve approaches. Like all things on a non-negotiable to-do list [this Sunday blog post] I just need a standing date. I just need to need it. It’s the only way change happens.
Cliché: our life is what we make of it. And I always add: we make time for priorities. I hand wrote a two-page letter to my best girlfriend during my lunch break a couple weeks ago. I included stationary for her to use and a stamped, addressed envelope, too. Her only excuse can be time. She’s a mom of two with a family and household to run, with a moment to sprinkle her own interest on top, maybe. When she gets to it, she will. But often the only excuse we give is time. Whether it’s legit or not.
I say legit not to be an asshole, but it’s true. I’m an asshole regardless. I can’t tell you the numerous emails I’ve sent over the years in a business, professional solicitation, or general consumer context, in which I may as well be begging a vendor or artist or entrepreneur to take my money for their skills or services, and they can’t even respond to an email!! If I were my grandmother I’d hold onto this resentment till the day I die. Thankfully, I let it go. I’ve also given up on people taking even a few minutes to respond to personal emails. By giving up, I actually mean not taking it personally. I don’t, honestly. But the truth is, most task take about 3 minutes. And the longer we put them off, like filling out a new healthcare form for our provider, the bigger the task is in our heads; not in actuality. Three minutes, like seriously three!
We’re all juggling a lot of things -whether one has kids or a full-time job or both. I can’t imagine having both. Bless these women who are single with both. Goodness, I can’t imagine and never want to. Some of us just need a to-do list to visualize and then go about things in a methodical way. Some have the privilege of a manager or assistant. Any person with any sort of goals has to have structure. Period. A recent Wait But Why post on visualizing our days as blocks of 10 minutes really resonated. I even printed out the grid.
Generally , all the ‘I need to do this’ bumps up against the ‘I want to do this’ and one just has to choose. The needs have to overtake the wants or we woudlnt survive, frankly. And over time it gets discouraging. I don’t want to get to this point; that’s what I’m saying here. I haven’t practiced my French in almost two months and it’s a guilty weight that just weighs and weIGHS and WEIGHS. Though I know I will, and with full force too. I am extreme in ways and this is a characteristic I know of myself. But it will have to be a deliberate decision to just grab the videos and recitation by the reins and make it routine again. Make the pocket of 10 minutes.
But you know what: sometimes it doesn’t take anytime just to say hi, how are you?
I am sympathetic to juggling ALL the things. Still, we make time for priorities.
Addendum: Most of us aren’t struggling, we are privileged to have options and choices. Why being irritated is a privilege.