Stall for Success

BrockaBooks, Mood Room, WorkLeave a Comment

If you’ve read my words long enough, you know how much I love spontaneity. These decisions tend to be the ones which really create our life. But we live in a world of abundance and options, so our instincts become derailed by distractions. I have stood firm on what I want, and I have also needed daily reminders from the inner voice to be patient. I do not need to be spontaneous. I have time. If I haven’t felt an immediate YES and GO, I just dilly dallied and never shot the bullet or filled in the paper work; or procrastinated the decision long enough till it rescinded itself or was taken away as an option. The common colloquialism is … Read More

BrockaStall for Success

An Authority

BrockaHealth & WellnessLeave a Comment

When I used to think myself an authority I see this picture of a woman in leggings and a sports bra in the headstand pose and I admire it. I try to do my headstands weekly, but it’s fallen out of habit (not favor). I am attracted to this image, the lifestyle it represents, a familiarity I know from having once thrown myself fully into it. I lived it and breathed it and spoke knowledgeably on; and people always asked me questions or for my advice. I exuded someone who might have an answer. I spoke publicly on many occasions. The picture is really an other, and it currently feels distant. An old me, to be honest. I wonder when … Read More

BrockaAn Authority

How We Are, It Is

BrockaRelationships, Travels, WorkLeave a Comment

Not sure how this will turn out; there is so much I have been thinking about. My recent vacation was nice, nothing more than nice. Its subsequent trick at forcing me to reflect on what I want again, and again, how I spend my time when i’m left to freely wonder and wander…this is where my mind has been. And I’m moving again, again! Excited, genuinely. I can’t possibly get rid of more than I did to get here, and I’m going for more space -as I just need it to breathe. I did confirm I’m best not idle and my desire for hands-y activities, and real work task still stands. It’s all meditative actually. I also don’t necessarily need … Read More

BrockaHow We Are, It Is

Letting Go

BrockaHealth & Wellness, Mood RoomLeave a Comment

Every time we go to the storage unit, the only objective is to grab what I can immediately drop off at donation. In the liquidation, the downsizing, and the admittance of usefulness comes a sadness; acknowledging this sadness comes despair. We can organize and utilize what we really want to keep later. Right now these items have spent a minimum of 3 years in this holding space; and in this holding space are also some of the oldest childhood memories and memorabilia. What is the deciding factor for keeping it? How intense must the attachment be for us to never let it go? And if the memory or emotion is so intense, why is a thing even necessary? It’s what it … Read More

BrockaLetting Go

My Not So Secret Secret

BrockaHealth & Wellness, WorkLeave a Comment

How I’m actually obsessed with food: ingredients, cooking culture, chef’s personal stories, the restaurant industry, the history of food agriculture, flavor combinations and the creativity in combining all different kinds food… The one thing I don’t indulge in are restaurant reviews. I rarely eat out and will probably never go to the place, so it’s an easy bit of elimination in this otherwise immense category.  I will investigate a particular chef, their personal story or the actual food writer-reviewer themselves, but no, not the restaurant in most cases. Once upon a time before Google, I would go to the bookstore and library to pull out stacks of food books, baking books, and diet books. I would sit with a notepad and … Read More

BrockaMy Not So Secret Secret