Rage Room

BrockaMood Room1 Comment

Has anger become the rage? For decades it seemed more contained, whether the private matter of a domestic dispute or a bar fight or a screaming fit in a boardroom. Of course there have always been protests and picket lines and road rage, but now we have more outlets and platforms to express. To not be judicious about one’s anger is to be childish. Uncontrolled anger is a sign of deeper issues requiring therapy; maybe a drug or alcohol problem. A year in lockdown was provoking, no doubt, but more people are short-fused and flying off the handle. I believe we all carry a little rage inside of us, though, either from being personally slighted or feeling it on behalf … Read More

BrockaRage Room

Attention

BrockaMusic, Poems, RelationshipsLeave a Comment

You’ve come across a new song or album and immediately like it, and you become addicted to it, needing to play it and hear it over and over till you’ve memorized the lyrics and the music precisely. You’re enjoying it stuck in your head, and you find yourself humming the melody when it’s not playing. You may also annoy your friends when they ride in the car with you as it plays ad nauseam. It’s all you want to hear and sing and dance to. And in hearing it so much, you burn it out; it gets burnt out. You can ruin it for yourself.  Eventually, it moves further down the list of albums downloaded. Through time and new music, it gets forgotten about. … Read More

BrockaAttention

Easy Come, Easy Go

BrockaTechnology, Work1 Comment

There was a lineup of legal envelopes, each filled with a precise amount of cash. The envelopes were labeled on the outside with how the money was being used, whether general bills or an upcoming extracurricular activity. This filing system was how my mother budgeted. Checks were rarely deposited into the bank where they’d be left to exist as an ephemeral number to remember and work with, but cashed and handled tangibly so as to visually itemize and account for things. During this time, before my mother actually started working for a bank -ironically enough, she would take any extra cash, the individual bills of tens and twenties, and fold them up to tuck away into different wallets or pockets of … Read More

BrockaEasy Come, Easy Go

On Reading

BrockaBooks, PoemsLeave a Comment

It seemed fascinating and titillating. Reading romance novels at the mature old age of ten. My mother had no issue with it. We would actually lie on her bed after a trip to the library and spread out our haul: mysteries; how-tos; self-help. She loved to be read to and was particularly fond of Danielle Steel at the time, so I became the narrator of these overwrought family sagas, affairs, and marital disputes. I presume these themes still drive Danielle Steel books. I never read the more sexually driven scenes out loud; that would’ve been mortifying.   Around this same time in elementary school, there were a few book nerds I knew of on the periphery; these were the ones always reading, and always reading unassigned material. Two … Read More

BrockaOn Reading

Lust

BrockaRelationships1 Comment

Lust is temporary insanity. – Brocka, 2001  This line sounds like it was stolen from a book or from a tv drama. Maybe so. But the way I noted it and the old piece of paper it was written on leads me to believe I thought it original at the time.   I’ve been doing this for twenty-five years now. Keeping journals, keeping notes, writing music, writing poems. I’ve gotten my rolodex well organized at this point; the themes are consolidated. ~Love and lust and its delusory effects~  It is not possible for anything new to be felt or written or sung about love. Rephrased, sure. Varying intensity levels, absolutely. I may have stolen the line. At least I knew it was … Read More

BrockaLust