BrockaRelationships1 Comment

Lust is temporary insanity. – Brocka, 2001 

This line sounds like it was stolen from a book or from a tv drama. Maybe so. But the way I noted it and the old piece of paper it was written on leads me to believe I thought it original at the time.  

I’ve been doing this for twenty-five years now. Keeping journals, keeping notes, writing music, writing poems. I’ve gotten my rolodex well organized at this point; the themes are consolidated. ~Love and lust and its delusory effects~ 

It is not possible for anything new to be felt or written or sung about love. Rephrased, sure. Varying intensity levels, absolutely. I may have stolen the line. At least I knew it was true enough to note. To take heed of…To distinguish it from something more.   

My girlfriend tells me I should try dating apps. I have always been grossed out by the idea. It sounds like a cesspool of STDs, because I’m reasonable enough to know the majority of people use them as hookup tools, not to deliberately find their marriage partner. I’m not saying this is bad; I’m only making an observation. Casual sex is…casual. It’s just a matter of choice; choice at a particular time in life, too. Does one want casual, superficial? Does one want to go deep? The bounty of options is hindering. I can’t imagine how difficult it is to be an unmarried male in this environment, considering the male species is wired to seek variety. And our partners can come from all over the world now. We are all connected. But who do you connect with?  

It is a matter of maturity to decide. To decide on a single person; to choose your person. This takes a lot more self-sacrifice and vulnerability than any owner’s manual or how-to guide would suggest. It’s a values thing as well. Some see absolutely nothing wrong with casual sex with multiple partners simultaneously; contributing factors being culture and emotional maturity. What is the value in this? Most people now have a-few-to-a-handful of multiple long-term, monogamous relationships over a lifetime -if they never marry. Still, each endeavor is having decided to dive in, invest entirely.   

Lust is only the sexual attraction; it’s the desire that floats on the surface. Lust is often fleeting and deteriorates with time. It rarely gives you what you really want. Whereas, what we really want takes time.  

Intimacy = Into Me You See 

Tracey Ermin


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