It Is Personal

BrockaMood RoomLeave a Comment

I was building a new song last week. I was/am working with a producer with a solid music theory background. We work similarly. We build linearly. I have never played an instrument. (minus the dumb recorder in 5th grade) The only reason i would want to play an instrument is to control every aspect of a songs production. To feel more badass? I know myself well. If I’m left alone to do it all, I both miss out on another trained creative input AND I find myself in yet another place where I may be too comfortable being alone. I love alone and self-sufficiency too much. That is personal. Running a business similarly isn’t a good idea. Fully controlling anything is an illusion. And more importantly, no good business or product is great without collaboration, input, various and conflicting ideas. Board meetings, sounding boards, multiple writers on a production, book editors, films, plans. Even a spouse will ask their partner…

We are not great without help.

Honestly though, art is personal. It is a feeling; it is FEELING (literally) raw:  ‘alive’, ‘in sync’, and ‘tuned in’. You are being you and you are confident. Authentic. You should only do, share, and express what you love. Everything else is compromise and bottom line and bottom dollar. Who is your label, your sponsor, your investor, your influence, your guilt-trip???? The weight on you is Not you. I will repeat, the weight on you is not you.

Willingly, there I was again, leaning on the knowledge of another creator, trying to birth an artistic music baby. I will claim this as my own though. I know his signature will impact it. My hiring of him and his collaboration made this!  I absolutely take ALL THE BLAME for you not liking the song(s), as I green-lighted, yes or no’d everything. BUT, I also will take NO full credit for you liking it, as this person’s skill helped make my dream a reality. Always, there are two sides to a coin.

Again, we are not great without help.IMG_7126-2


See the B etched into the dust. I wanted to take this as a a positive omen, but it was not. Trust your gut.

Today, yes, a few hours ago – I was working with *another* producer. It was not right. We weren’t a right fit. I felt like ‘negative Nancy’ and instead of beating everything down and trying too damn hard to find what would work, we cut our losses. Go with your gut. Nothing personal. The production is business. I still got teary-eyed because I wanted it to work. I am way more emotional than I let on, or lead people to believe; even over long periods of time, when you think you know me. Someone seeing me cry for the first time may become panicked. It is not out of character, that’s what I’m trying to say.

Making music is business. It is also very personal. This is my project, my idea, my vision, the creation I want to birth -metaphorically. I will not waste anyone’s time. I want you to love it or hate it. I want you to say Yes or No. I want you to feel conviction.

The first EP was formula, experimental. It will continue to be experimental, because that is growing and learning. But my real brand and emotion are coming through.




BrockaIt Is Personal

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