The In Between

BrockaArt, MusicLeave a Comment

Well at least this blog hasn’t stopped accumulating spam! The Russians are everywhere, I tell ya. I certainly haven’t been here, so why am I letting it gather dust? Because it’s really hard to loosen the grip of an ideal. We need ideals for our better selves, even if they only become a cudgel, mentally chastising when we don’t live up to them. There’s never anything wrong with wanting to improve, but at some point you put up or shut up. [cue Phoebe Snow’s song Never Letting Go] As I’ve said, journaling – or simply documenting, is no proper writing, other than to build up a tolerance against hand cramps. But the music! Yes, there’s more of that too. If … Read More

BrockaThe In Between

Pardon

BrockaMusic, WorkLeave a Comment

-as a statement, not a question. Sometimes it needs saying. I have never used the word pardon as an apology. I say pardon in the office to rehear what you said. Always better than ‘what?’ Here, now, I say pardon to alleviate myself. I only want to acknowledge where readers have felt a discordant pulse in what I may usually put out. It’s interesting where our insecurities lie, where I have found mine to rise: after I’ve expressed too much, shared too much, given too much. Immediately I feel an equal pull. I want to retract, regress, refrain. Under this debate… I feel a resonance and in moderate harmony with feminist: the when and the why we silence ourselves! This … Read More

BrockaPardon

Ode to Sleep

BrockaHealth & Wellness, Mood Room, MusicLeave a Comment

From where I sit: I’ve slept ~6 hours in the last two nights, each. This.is.no.bueno.for.me. Zombie-esque. 7.5 hours is my minimum. I hate everything otherwise! I don’t verbalize it as such, but I think it. I think it so hard. I am concrete being drug through mud. Over the years, under the guise of this fog, I’ve made objective observations. The experience has repeated itself enough, I can somewhat rise above it. There’s always the general anger over the circumstance; the physical ache within my self, my body; the negative thoughts…The real fist punches are the negative thoughts. Now an observer of them, I can classify them as ‘other’, as apart from me and very circumstantial. I’ve learned to overcome … Read More

BrockaOde to Sleep

Sleep, Perchance to Dream

BrockaHealth & Wellness, Mood Room, MusicLeave a Comment

I love sleep. It is my favorite pastime, the favorite part of my day and best part of my diet, the secret to recovery and longevity. Ask any model what she does before a shoot or a runway show, every single one will say drink lots of water and sleep, even before working out. As much as I love it, I don’t do it well, such as why I am also a big proponent of power naps. Back in 1995 NASA did a study on the perfect nap time duration. They could’ve called to ask me; i’ve known since I was 8, it’s about 25 minutes. I’m so sensitive to external stimuli, all conditions¬†have to be pretty perfect for a … Read More

BrockaSleep, Perchance to Dream

Strangers in Our Space

BrockaHealth & Wellness, Mood Room, MusicLeave a Comment

If you don’t follow me on twitter or facebook, you don’t know that my condo has been up for sell for just a week. Therefore, strangers with their agents/realtors have been strolling through and viewing. Firstly, a photographer came in to photograph each room before the listing could go up. Typically their time is booked a 1/2 hour out, just so they can stage the place better before shooting. I knew that wouldn’t be necessary, and it wasn’t. I’m not only a minimalist clean-freak, but the 5 second rule applies to my kitchen floors at least once a week. Nothing had to be moved, other than pulling some electronic cords out of walls. Within 36 hours, boom, back-to-back foot-traffic. I’ve … Read More

BrockaStrangers in Our Space