Attention

BrockaMusic, Poems, RelationshipsLeave a Comment

You’ve come across a new song or album and immediately like it, and you become addicted to it, needing to play it and hear it over and over till you’ve memorized the lyrics and the music precisely. You’re enjoying it stuck in your head, and you find yourself humming the melody when it’s not playing. You may also annoy your friends when they ride in the car with you as it plays ad nauseam. It’s all you want to hear and sing and dance to. And in hearing it so much, you burn it out; it gets burnt out. You can ruin it for yourself.  Eventually, it moves further down the list of albums downloaded. Through time and new music, it gets forgotten about. … Read More

BrockaAttention

On Poetry

BrockaMusic, PoemsLeave a Comment

We are all so polarized, now seems like a fabulous time to argue on behalf of something. There are two types of people in the world: those whom read-write-enjoy poetry and those whom do not. These ‘do nots’ haven’t even mustered disdain; it simply doesn’t exist. My relationship with poetry as a thing to tend to or enjoy has ebb and flowed. I have been under a misconception the bulk of my adult years, believing myself to not care for it. I can’t specify the recent trigger, but a lightbulb switched and I found myself admitting I’d been writing it the bulk of my life. I’ve written songs since I was a teenager. My brain had somehow separated song writing … Read More

BrockaOn Poetry

The In Between

BrockaArt, MusicLeave a Comment

Well at least this blog hasn’t stopped accumulating spam! The Russians are everywhere, I tell ya. I certainly haven’t been here, so why am I letting it gather dust? Because it’s really hard to loosen the grip of an ideal. We need ideals for our better selves, even if they only become a cudgel, mentally chastising when we don’t live up to them. There’s never anything wrong with wanting to improve, but at some point you put up or shut up. [cue Phoebe Snow’s song Never Letting Go] As I’ve said, journaling – or simply documenting, is no proper writing, other than to build up a tolerance against hand cramps. But the music! Yes, there’s more of that too. If … Read More

BrockaThe In Between

Pardon

BrockaMusic, WorkLeave a Comment

-as a statement, not a question. Sometimes it needs saying. I have never used the word pardon as an apology. I say pardon in the office to rehear what you said. Always better than ‘what?’ Here, now, I say pardon to alleviate myself. I only want to acknowledge where readers have felt a discordant pulse in what I may usually put out. It’s interesting where our insecurities lie, where I have found mine to rise: after I’ve expressed too much, shared too much, given too much. Immediately I feel an equal pull. I want to retract, regress, refrain. Under this debate… I feel a resonance and in moderate harmony with feminist: the when and the why we silence ourselves! This … Read More

BrockaPardon

Ode to Sleep

BrockaHealth & Wellness, Mood Room, MusicLeave a Comment

From where I sit: I’ve slept ~6 hours in the last two nights, each. This.is.no.bueno.for.me. Zombie-esque. 7.5 hours is my minimum. I hate everything otherwise! I don’t verbalize it as such, but I think it. I think it so hard. I am concrete being drug through mud. Over the years, under the guise of this fog, I’ve made objective observations. The experience has repeated itself enough, I can somewhat rise above it. There’s always the general anger over the circumstance; the physical ache within my self, my body; the negative thoughts…The real fist punches are the negative thoughts. Now an observer of them, I can classify them as ‘other’, as apart from me and very circumstantial. I’ve learned to overcome … Read More

BrockaOde to Sleep