I’ve been on a quiet bender. A writing radio silence. Most writers know they just need a deadline. I thought I needed a muse; the muse as some form of motivation. But like a fitness coach, it’s not their counting and cheering while you do the reps, it’s mostly someone holding you accountable. In my case, it is only me. I decide what my priorities are. When our priorities aren’t right, it’s because excuses are too easy. I remember a line I heard many years ago. It came from an episode of the Dr. Phil Show playing in the background. He said one thing I’ll never forget. He was speaking to a woman about her weight issues, and said, ‘You … Read More
On Reading
It seemed fascinating and titillating. Reading romance novels at the mature old age of ten. My mother had no issue with it. We would actually lie on her bed after a trip to the library and spread out our haul: mysteries; how-tos; self-help. She loved to be read to and was particularly fond of Danielle Steel at the time, so I became the narrator of these overwrought family sagas, affairs, and marital disputes. I presume these themes still drive Danielle Steel books. I never read the more sexually driven scenes out loud; that would’ve been mortifying. Around this same time in elementary school, there were a few book nerds I knew of on the periphery; these were the ones always reading, and always reading unassigned material. Two … Read More
Storm Casting
A vicious, wild storm. Coming down sideways, it was a thrashing I was certain would break the backdoor glass and flood the bedroom. My bed would turn into the island of retreat. It was currently no solace, as I’d flipped over and switched sides across the bed now twenty times, at least. I was keeping track; annoyed. I was very conscious. In between the flashes of lightening, there was a stillness. The ceiling fan had gone off. I’d lost power. I reached out to the nightstand to flip the switch and sure enough, no light. The howling wind sounded like a tornado. Nature has this frightening way of putting the human in his place. We have no control. I grabbed … Read More
Next
Hello strangers. Looping back around the track. I have certainly perfected my radio silence. Winter seems to demand contraction and internalizing. Plus, I’ve been in a deliberate watch and wait mode. The upside: I’m way more patient than I used to be. On the bookshelf of things, last month I finished the best biography of Queen Victoria (mentioned in the last post.) I read the most exquisite of novels with a prose and lusciousness I have never encountered. I can’t recommend Mark Helprin’s Paris in the Present Tense enough. A seventy five year old, Holocaust surviving, Algerian war vet is a cellist, music professor. It’s a gripping story of his involvement in a possible murder and insurance scam. You’re almost holding … Read More
Half & Half
It’s certainly been a minute since I’ve written here. While I could whittle off a list of excuses, the main theme of my past month was rebellion. For instance, after almost solely planning a party for my company, I decided at the last minute to not attend. And it felt so free walking right past it and out the door. I genuinely didn’t give a damn; which is where I’m at mentally with my job actually. I’ve been stirring up my own bowl of interests to see what rises to the surface, top priority, next job posting or creative pursuit; both pursued simultaneously most likely. I think I finally folded up the ambition to pursue new music making. My heart … Read More