California Cool

BrockaHealth & Wellness, Relationships, TravelsLeave a Comment

The airport is small and local. She exits into a sunny side of life, inhaling smells of lilac and lemon trees. The clean pavement reflects gold rays back to her as she makes her way to one of the few waiting taxis. There would only be a few. It’s about a twenty-minute drive to the house, and after exiting the freeway, the neighborhoods lining the coast all seem private, secluded. The houses are individually wrapped by bundles of trees and beds of flowers. Something ideal. The driver turns off one of the winding roads onto a small gravel patch. The crunch under the tires announcing her arrival. A gathering of trees line either side of an iron gate. She gets out … Read More

BrockaCalifornia Cool

Memory is a Muse

BrockaArt, MusicLeave a Comment

Memories sit inside like coals that never lose heat. They live in every cell of our being. We carry them along and into our future. We try to separate our thoughts from their recall, ignoring the pull towards the experience; the person; the smell. We put them in frames, and stand outside of them as if they’re art. To see them as they truly were is to freeze time and prevent ourselves from moving on; to admit something about ourselves; to never survive. This is the trauma; the shame; the heartbreak; the loss; the tragedy. How we frame them is how we adapt and how we continue to carry on.   The greatest thing about memories, though, is they can serve as a muse. Muse is the … Read More

BrockaMemory is a Muse

In the Rain

BrockaRelationships, Short StoriesLeave a Comment

I had barely arrived at the hotel before being whisked away. Anticipation and trepidation. I had come from a meeting, right off a flight, wearing business slacks and such. After freshening, I opted for jeans with a blouse and cardigan. I threw on some slick new trainers, because shoes always elicit your attention. I also figured practical was best; not knowing how much walking the evening would entail or how cool the weather would turn.   The hotel had an old-world aesthetic and regality, but the carpeted stair runner had a musty smell under each step. A once-over with the vacuum would spruce it up, I thought. My senses seemed to be moving back in time as I descended to the lobby.   You … Read More

BrockaIn the Rain

When Things Change

BrockaHealth & Wellness, Relationships, WorkLeave a Comment

When corporate sweeps in and takes over the individually owned, bootstrapped and personally branded company, all the dynamism in the office shifts. Office politics are introduced. The established camaraderie, the last-minute office happy hours, the provocative holiday parties, now interrupted by the HR machine. Ironically, the watching of sexual harassment videos and other procedural items are outsourced to the assistants. The staff aren’t the ones ‘…bringing in the fucking money. I don’t have time for this!’ Before, the deals were done under the aura and vulgarity of a frat house; now everyone is an independent contractor with new titles and a different hierarchy, watching their backs. The rest of the staff edit their casual conversation topics and spend less time lingering at the … Read More

BrockaWhen Things Change

Communing

BrockaScience1 Comment

The room is still and the air conditioning is off, but a cool draft billows through. In every place she has ever lived, a cylinder of cold air has taken up residence in one of the bedrooms. It moves where she moves. It is said a spirit resides inside this cold spot -wanting pride of place; likely the family member who most recently died.  My grandmother thought the dead were out to get her. Her father was a deacon in the Catholic church and she came to intentionally and ironically, a bit of both, resent religion and the too-long-a-list of spirits and saints to remember and revere. So why did anyone want to come back and talk to her? She would never … Read More

BrockaCommuning