On Rejection

BrockaRelationshipsLeave a Comment

This gem was within a newsletter I received last week. The timing fit. “Rejection is interesting, because it’s one of those emotions that isn’t based on anything factual or true about our self, yet we have all experienced the feeling of being devastated by feelings of rejection. What is the actual experience of rejection, really, though? It is acknowledging a mismatch of energies. Dis-resonance. When two people or things are no longer in alignment, we must go different ways. It’s a neutral fact. No one’s fault. The truth is, when you experience “rejection” someone simply recognized the dis-resonance between you before you did. Someone has to take initiative in that. If they use words that are unskillful, which is often the … Read More

BrockaOn Rejection

The In Between

BrockaMood RoomLeave a Comment

Well at least this blog hasn’t stopped accumulating spam! The Russians are everywhere, I tell ya. I certainly haven’t been here, so why am I letting it gather dust? Because it’s really hard to loosen the grip of an ideal. We need ideals for our better selves, even if they only become a cudgel, mentally chastising when we don’t live up to them. There’s never anything wrong with wanting to improve, but at some point you put up or shut up. [cue Phoebe Snow’s song Never Letting Go] As I’ve said, journaling – or simply documenting, is no proper writing, other than to build up a tolerance against hand cramps. But the music! Yes, there’s more of that too. If … Read More

BrockaThe In Between

Next

BrockaBooks, RelationshipsLeave a Comment

Hello strangers. Looping back around the track. I have certainly perfected my radio silence. Winter seems to demand contraction and internalizing. Plus, I’ve been in a deliberate watch and wait mode. The upside: I’m way more patient than I used to be. On the bookshelf of things, last month I finished the best biography of Queen Victoria (mentioned in the last post.) I read the most exquisite of novels with a prose and lusciousness I have never encountered. I can’t recommend Mark Helprin’s Paris in the Present Tense enough. A seventy five year old, Holocaust surviving, Algerian war vet is a cellist, music professor. It’s a gripping story of his involvement in a possible murder and insurance scam. You’re almost holding … Read More

BrockaNext

Half & Half

BrockaBooks, History, WorkLeave a Comment

It’s certainly been a minute since I’ve written here. While I could whittle off a list of excuses, the main theme of my past month was rebellion. For instance, after almost solely planning a party for my company, I decided at the last minute to not attend. And it felt so free walking right past it and out the door. I genuinely didn’t give a damn; which is where I’m at mentally with my job actually. I’ve been stirring up my own bowl of interests to see what rises to the surface, top priority, next job posting or creative pursuit; both pursued simultaneously most likely. I think I finally folded up the ambition to pursue new music making. My heart … Read More

BrockaHalf & Half

Lethal White

BrockaBooks, PodcastsLeave a Comment

November was a fabulous month of reading. I easily breezed through two lengthier tombs by two of my favorite well-established authors and was not let down. I interjected these weightier books for a short soliloquy on routine written by an up and coming Japanese author. We’ll start with that one: Convenience Store Woman is a very odd duck story. It skims the surface over a number of character quirks in Keiko, a 36 year old woman living in Tokyo. These have served to isolate her from her family or build any normal relationships; she comes off as borderline autistic. The monotony and routine and easily followed behavioral manual at the convenience store job harness her to the real world, and … Read More

BrockaLethal White