I don’t even want to write this; probably means I should.
Yesterday I started my day at 5 am. Today I attempted to function, not so well, with about 4 hours of inconsistent sleep. Thus, the deficit is REAL! I do not recommend this. I become very negative. my brain hovers over the ‘nots’ and the ‘don’ts’, from the short-fused and impatient place. Do you listen to yourself? Do you know when you are in the right place or the unhealthy place? This is the most extreme example. Sleep-deprivation is the oldest technique in interrogation; the Chinese have known this forever.
“Humans who are kept awake for too long start to show some of the same signs as those hapless rats. … Within the first twenty-four hours of sleep deprivation, the blood pressure starts to increase. Not long afterward, the metabolism levels go haywire, giving a person an uncontrollable craving for carbohydrates. The body temperature drops and the immune system gets weaker. If this goes on for too long, there is a good chance that the mind will turn against itself, making a person experience visions and hear phantom sounds akin to a bad acid trip. At the same time, the ability to make simple decisions or recall obvious facts drops off severely. It is a bizarre downward spiral that is all the more peculiar because it can be stopped completely, and all of its effects will vanish, simply by sleeping for a couple of hours.”
I become hyper-aware of my own thoughts when I am deprived of sleep. Being able to control them is really what separates us from other animals. We can control our minds; and when we learn to, we orchestrate our entire life. I’m sure this is the premise behind the much maligned The Secret. I once heard Martha Stewart sleeps only 4 hours a night, generally 12-4am. Well I’d imagine with all she does, her control freak ways, wanting to do it ALL herself. I understand. It’s called anxiety and obsessive compulsive disorder. I know it. Regardless, that’s fucked up: functioning so well on so little sleep. I’m jealous truthfully. (I’m currently too lazy to look up the credibility of this pseudo-fact.) Moving on…
Why is my stasis happening? Why does this happen with frequency for me, at least once every 6 weeks, over the last 10 years? Here is my objective observation, 3 factors often contribute:
- Stress/Anxiety (hola to ALL humans!) This is mainly money or family related ((their health and well-being or your own basic necessities))
- Hormones (mainly specific to women, but men are also subject to hormonal changes depending on their diet); and diet, YES, when my calories are too low I don’t sleep well. Our diet contributes to our hormones. Scientifically and astronomically speaking, I believe where the planets are and their weight weighs on me. You may think reading your astrological horoscope is frou-frou. Fine! If it is out of a magazine, I agree. Not speaking of that. I am literal with math and science: the placement of the planets and their composition affects our hormones, the chemical balance. We are living on a planet made up of 70% water. Our bodies are also 70% fluid. Not a coincidence.
- Relationships, the people in our life and how we are responding to them in accordance to the setting: 1, work: you verses your boss or you are the boss in charge of employees, OR 2: you in relation to your romance/marriage relationship
I have been subject to all three of these simultaneously.
I commented casually on Twitter about always having options. When I’m in the negative headspace, I can not make clear decisions.
Writing, producing, and singing music are non-negotiable. The where I am living, the with whom am I spending most of my time, plus the general work option$ all seem subject to change in time. I like to be open and flexible. Driving down the road of life, the billboards can become very distracting. What if I were to just focus on the here-now, this person-this time? It is always about getting my head straight, thinking in the positive, and focusing. Regardless of anything else, focus.
What will make me most happy?
This sole question is where we put the hustle and where we doubt ourselves. A well rested mind always knows the answers more clearly.