Choices

BrockaHealth & Wellness, TravelsLeave a Comment

I’m behind on writing but certainly not inspiration. Is it procrastination or lack of motivation? What is propelling me now… As I hover over my life, what actions do I see myself taking? It is good to know what one is motivated by: money; attention; notoriety. It is good to know why one procrastinates: laziness; absolute perfection; fear of incompetence. In our current environs, enjoyment of life doesn’t necessarily demand vocal declaration and shared memorializing. Every meal, every outfit, every landscape. Satisfaction is its own reward. In some ways I’m seeking a comfortable stride, in other ways I’m finding new footing. I reflect on my creative endeavors and the next ones I want to pursue. I’m excited and monotone simultaneously. … Read More

BrockaChoices

Holding On & Letting Go

BrockaHealth & Wellness, Mood RoomLeave a Comment

“You also have to become comfortable with embarrassment. If you’re not willing to screw up in public, you’re best off being a worker bee. You need a thick skin to make it.”  -Bob Lefsetz Boy did I…take a break. The only time I came here was to do some housecleaning once and prompted site updates. I deleted 78 of the 86 drafts I had hanging. Necessary to wipe the slate clean; that spring vibe. I considered If I hadn’t put it out, it either made little sense in the meandering thought, was a topic of redundancy, was a contribution to more useless noise, or something I just really wasn’t willing to share yet. I’ve been holding onto some resentment regarding … Read More

BrockaHolding On & Letting Go

The Particulars

BrockaHealth & Wellness, Mood Room, Relationships, WorkLeave a Comment

I’ve started and stopped this post a few times now. I wonder why a topic needs to be preplanned. What’s the subject, what will I write about?? I always review the ridiculously long drafts folder like any one will be the one, like ‘Done! That was easy!’ -but no, it’s not what I want to say now. I think about meeting a friend for a coffee/tea-cocktail-meal and how in this circumstance, we don’t come into the setting with a bullet point plan of what will be discussed. There is no agenda. You just show up. What we really want to do is show up. It’s not about having a plan and needing to know every detail and step to take … Read More

BrockaThe Particulars

I Just Can’t

BrockaHealth & Wellness, History, PoliticsLeave a Comment

Everything online is so annoying to me. It’s provocative and petty. I don’t even know what the point of my Twitter account is anymore and it has way more credit than having a Facebook account. I only got on Facebook to have a music page, but now I rarely even listen to music and vaguely recognize a singing self in me. I do not sing everyday like I once did. I do drink a glass of wine every evening so I’m certain my vocals are less smooth, less clean. I would have to dry out for a few days before I even showed my face in a studio, absolutely. Every time I open Facebook I wonder why I did. Every … Read More

BrockaI Just Can’t

The Reality

BrockaBooks, Travels, WorkLeave a Comment

I would like to think I read more books than I realistically do. It’s a memory of myself -when I could stock up on books from the library weekly, when I only had the distraction of a few emails and penpals online. I didn’t have a television. I was in my first apartment and this was a lifestyle I thought I knew about myself. A funny thought just struck me. I’m sitting on a stool, typing on a low table. This was exactly how I was set up in my first apartment. I think I actually had my laptop on a wooden bench. I sold my desk when I moved most recently and don’t miss it. I also gave away … Read More

BrockaThe Reality