Change or Circumstance

BrockaRelationships, WorkLeave a Comment

Is it fluff and clouds to daydream and eagerly anticipate under the influence of New Year’s champagne? Something about it and birth day reflections pull us into ourselves, manifest a cliché we hate to acknowledge. A chance to recalibrate. There is a sincere honesty when we are being most hopeful; an aspiration towards our better selves. I’m not setting nor seeking resolutions. I have enough issues with overcommitment. I am recognizing circumstances, I am recognizing my behavior in accordance with them… on writing Ad nauseam within this space, I seem to yearly reflect on what kind of writer I want to be; which always comes back to how much I want to express. When you are distressed by an external … Read More

BrockaChange or Circumstance

Fresh

BrockaMusic, Religion, Travels, WorkLeave a Comment

Every time I think or say the word fresh, I think ‘fresh to death’ Terrible. What is wrong with me [no punctuation] This last time my computer crashed I lost all my voice memos from my iphone, thus icloud upload on the Mac. These were the 50+ song ideas I hadn’t actualized just yet. It wasn’t like losing sentimental things in a fire; I know that experience. I wasn’t so devastated. I thought it a fresh start. I’m not so obtuse as to believe that every rhyme I sing or melody I want to turn into song is something immediately great. Is anything for a perfectionist ever ready…Most everything is shit. Most rough drafts are shit. ‘Good riddance’ I thought. … Read More

BrockaFresh

An Authority

BrockaHealth & WellnessLeave a Comment

When I used to think myself an authority I see this picture of a woman in leggings and a sports bra in the headstand pose and I admire it. I try to do my headstands weekly, but it’s fallen out of habit (not favor). I am attracted to this image, the lifestyle it represents, a familiarity I know from having once thrown myself fully into it. I lived it and breathed it and spoke knowledgeably on; and people always asked me questions or for my advice. I exuded someone who might have an answer. I spoke publicly on many occasions. The picture is really an other, and it currently feels distant. An old me, to be honest. I wonder when … Read More

BrockaAn Authority

The Juggle is Real

BrockaRelationships, Work2 Comments

I can gladly say I do not participate in the entrepreneur hustle any longer. Where there is often two sides to one coin in most debates, I am firmly in the reliable consistency camp. Not a day goes by in which I regret jumping ship from shakey waters to calm currents. Having said structure eliminates the freedom of creative time too. I say this as an observation. There is still an ephemeral part of myself, the multitaster of life’s buffet. A little bit of this, a little bit of that. Per my previous blog post on minimalism: I have already specifically chosen my various directions, interest, tiny projects, reading-writing goals, and family time pockets. My social life = the natural behavior … Read More

BrockaThe Juggle is Real

Friday Flashes

BrockaArt, Books, Music, Relationships, WorkLeave a Comment

Instead of the usual social media moniker of flashing back, this is a rounding-up of where my mind has been: After hinting at my work life in the last post, if you are a freelancer this post will read painfully true. The Pay is Not Commiserate With the Work (my own summation of the title) When I had a food-dessert biz, I knew the baseline rate to charge was 3 times the ingredients cost. There are so many variables to consider, only one is time. I have not put any money in savings this entire past year and this fact weighs on me heavily. I’m not getting younger and the world is becoming more divisive and competitive. I am definitely … Read More

BrockaFriday Flashes