Anyone who spends a reasonable amount of time around me begins to understand my two personalities. I can say one thing and turn around to do another. I will adamantly declare I don’t like a food, a place, or a person; then one day see myself eat it, go there, and be attracted to that personality quality I had assumed adhorrent. I can project the introverted, bookworm vibe then out-dance you at a club. I am both flakey and adaptable.
It’s worth kicking myself every time I think I don’t want to go somewhere or do something, then i end up loving it and self-loathing over my initial doubt. Like having a 12 year old panic attack an hour before i actually rode the Texas Giant roller-coaster, then loved it so much, I rode it 6 times in a row!
One thing I certainly do is over-think every damn thing ad nauseam…This is why I’m such a big proponent of sitting in meditation, stretching, or going on walks outside, or being on stage singing. These are the only things that get me out of my brain and into the moment. Sex even rarely gets me out of my brain.
Thus, the one and only one thing I swear by, nothing about me is concrete. Never has been. I have to start seeing this as a quality. I’m most likely to understand where you are coming from, why you see the world the way you do.
I hate raw tomatoes, but I love pasta sauce and ketchup.
Then why did i find myself craving raw tomato last week? I bought a little box of organic cherry tomatoes, ate two sweet handfuls with enjoyment, then gagged by the 3rd attempt. Ok, that happened, i thought.
So then I had raw tomatoes I was already sick of. Didn’t want to waste them. This is what I did: roasted them 375* with red radishes and red strawberries, with a splash each of olive oil and balsamic vinegar. Wow, a balanced compote I tossed on top of a salad. Spicy radishes (which when cooked eliminates their astringency and makes them plain-jane like watercress in a Chinese stir-fry), sweet candied strawberries, and reduced concentrated tomatoes. Next time, as there will be, I will leave out the vinegar and add a drizzle of honey with a couple cracks of fresh black pepper. (the pic is pre-roasted; it got all eggplant dark and candied)
Not only did I enjoy something I thought I wouldn’t, I elevated it with my own touch. As for being in touch with my psyche, there is always room for improvement.