Secret Selves

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This concept has always fascinated me. I am not most interested in knowing what you are up to (though we are all curious), but I wonder more specifically about myself: am I deliberately hiding something or making  an effort to not share or disclose?  We are ALL in the public eye whether we deliberately choose to be via social media or whether we are just casual travelers down an empty street in London. (the cameras, have you recognized ALL the cameras?) Sorry to break it to you, but even if you don’t see a camera, conceptualize the capability of Google Earth, then narrow it down to your physical being. All I’ll say, Raytheon. A local Dallas company. The technology exist to read a phone number you write on a napkin in a bar. Every move you (me, we) make.

The basics: essentially, since we grocery shop and use membership cards and use credit cards everywhere we are, everything we do is ‘on the grid’. Most of me gives no fucks, as I have nothing to hide. I’m surely not buying materials to pull off a crime. Most of us are mundane and boring and habitually repetitive; to the point that if it were actually disclosed to whomever, it would be embarrassing because of banality. The very first time I went to Europe and did the whole ‘backpacking through multiple countries’ alone, my grandmother called American Express every.single.day. to confirm that I was alive. She knew I’d recently bought something or a meal or whatever. This was back when places in Europe took American Express, (they don’t) and I couldn’t just send a quick text to my mom (no cell phones other than a HUGE Motorola). The line of Americans at pay phones or in a hostels wasn’t worth it to me.

hush

Nothing we do is private, truthfully. Like, get a grip on this right now. NOTHING. This is why I get vehemently pissed off politically, because the Russians warned us about the Tsarnaev brothers. The entire Boston marathon bombing could’ve been prevented. And I sound conspiratorial if I even ask why it wasn’t. Shame, a damn shame.

And that’s mainly what I hide. This is my secret self: what I don’t post on Facebook or articles to Twitter, but things I’m interested in or currently reading. I subscribe to Human Rights Watch and Walid Shoebat – a number of informative and personal links. If I posted all that I may think is attention-worthy, it is generally sadness-depression-despair; and the worst thing on social media is to be the negative-negative-negative one. It doesn’t mean it doesn’t exist.

So much of what we both ‘know’ and know about ourselves, we are embarrassed or ashamed to acknowledge or share with others. This is the most sad part.

If you loved Leonard Nimoy, Secret Selves

The Greek mythology behind our secret selves

 

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