I like how this day looks. Its bit of symmetry. A palindrome. The addition and subtraction. I woke today with a mega to-do list, one of which was meeting a friend I haven’t seen in ages for coffee; of course I canceled. This is my modus operandi. Long ago I believed he had written me off, but lo… One of my personally subscribed task was baking for the office. Tomorrow is my one year anniversaire! I remember telling the owner-boss during the interview, I will firmly commit to two years. Halfway through the interview, the second-yet-equal broker came into the conference room to introduce himself and assess, and all he could ask me about was all of my travel; thus leading … Read More
Why do you have to cry? He asked me every time it happened. It is the extreme version of an emotion. Overpowering. A cut is one thing, a death another. After hearing of the death of a loved one, most have an involuntary reaction to cry. Crying may simply be a result of having held onto a feeling so long, it finally boiled over. A feeling so strong, it beat down the walls we held up against it. I never cry. My mother is so freakin sensitive she cries during emotional commercials, gift giveaways on talk shows, the least character driven of shows, animals dying she has no association with… this list goes on. I would verbally disdain this a … Read More
I got off work early Friday, grateful. In the last few days, all of my immediate need-to-do and want-to-accomplish have been met. A random question popped in my mind, a ping of curiosity. The first time I sat in meditation at 8 years old, how-WHY did I come to do so? Why the seated position, the deliberate spine structure, why the darkness and focus on breath… I have wondered what propelled me, what instigated the behavior, the influence I was under. Had I read, seen, or heard something? Yes, most probably. But it’s been 4 days, and I have no particular clarity. We are so susceptible at certain moments in our rearing. Consequences we can’t fathom yet feel daily. Maybe … Read More
“You also have to become comfortable with embarrassment. If you’re not willing to screw up in public, you’re best off being a worker bee. You need a thick skin to make it.” -Bob Lefsetz Boy did I…take a break. The only time I came here was to do some housecleaning once and prompted site updates. I deleted 78 of the 86 drafts I had hanging. Necessary to wipe the slate clean; that spring vibe. I considered If I hadn’t put it out, it either made little sense in the meandering thought, was a topic of redundancy, was a contribution to more useless noise, or something I just really wasn’t willing to share yet. I’ve been holding onto some resentment regarding … Read More
When I woke Wednesday morning and realized I’d completely, utterly forgotten about the Two Question Tuesday posting, I asked myself why’d I’d added more on my plate in the first place. I’m going to take a break from this space for at least the next 3 weeks.