I have gotten into the habit of blogging on broader themes and veering away from the personal journal-logging that pervades much of the blogging community. I dont even subscribe to any personal blogs (yes to travel, politics, tech, etc..)and the food ones i read, i scroll right to the recipe and see if the ingredients are comprised of anything id actually eat. Im kind of an asshole about my diet. (not when i eat out with people, just when i stock my own fridge and pantry)
Back to the point, it is absolutely selfish and lazy of me to not blog with any consistency; because i have great stories. Im not trying to sound boastful, but i need to start telling my stories. Stories are meant to be recorded. They help us know ourselves. We learn, we grow, and most importantly, we’re sharing. The sharing is inspiring…
And where I’ll start is by being honest. The last 2 weeks have been very hard for me, because there are a number of things I want to change. But I overwhelm myself so much that I become immobile; and nothing happens. I also like to think that I don’t have an addictive personality, but for some reason I can be very hard-headed. So when I stop changing with the seasons or evolving my goals or catering to my personal relationships, or simply procrastinating on things till they fester, the real anger surfaces. The truth is, these behaviors are symptoms of a problem, not *the* problem.
What has been wrong for me? I haven’t been doing things I really want to do. My heart hasn’t been in it. My authenticity has suffered. And my anger is growing. There are things that I know. And there are things that I tell myself. To be happy, these two stories need to be the same.
It is also my experience/reality that everything is connected: our physical, spiritual, emotional, mental- psychological, etc…The bad news, when one thing is out of sorts, it does roll over into other areas of our live’s. The good news, like any specimen, the human body is constantly seeking homeostasis, balance. Always, the seesaw is recalibrating to bring us back to center. It’s physics. It is not metaphysical mumbo-jumbo when someone say’s ‘the universe is working..(for you or against you)’
So the blogging isn’t only about telling a story or two, but me needing to express more, period. The changes I need to make most have everything to do with sharing who I truly am. I’ve been hiding out. I have no set agenda, but I’m not letting myself down this time. I’m way too excited.