Gratitude

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I wanted to acknowledge how appreciative I am for the birthday wishes and messages I received yesterday, from near, close and far off. I felt wrapped in a hug all day. I love various penmanship, too. Last week was a tough week for me personally, mainly because i was putting up resistance to changes I needed to make; yes, it’s often in our head. I’ve got to stick to my guns and chase my passions. Nothing is perfect the first time and I will re-do it till it’s right. I’m not patient with myself, either. One thing I wanted to share was how I am officially off coffee (12 days), at least till an upcoming trip to Portland, Oregon in … Read More

BrockaGratitude

Recording Existence

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I’ve been journaling since I was 12. I do vaguely recall a gift years prior of a proper ‘diary’ : dark leather, gold embossed, with a lock and tiny accompanying key. When I was gifted it, I was too young: to stay with one thought, to have a worthy secret, to have anything genuinely interesting to say. Is it hormones that first lend to privacy? Probably, yes. We are the only animals which can stay attached to a memory. But why do we choose to keep them? Some of us hoard every ticket stub and momento, awards, certificates, cards…then there are those that live out of a backpack. We now have the capability to store our DNA, our daily workouts, … Read More

BrockaRecording Existence

Sleeping With a Man I Didn’t Sleep With

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When I was young and adventurous (in the minimal responsibilities way, not the drug experimentation way) and backpacking Europe was cool, yes i did it. In that gap summer between high school and when I was supposed to go to college -when most people do it, I launched off the French group visit of 10 days in Paris and proceeded to do 30 more on my own. Backpacking may still be cool, i don’t know. I’m too far removed from carrying 30+lbs of my life on my back and calling it ‘fun’. Besides, over the last 10 years the latest way to go about it has been Couchsurfing. Bypass the cheap hostel with one toilet/shower per guest floor, and just … Read More

BrockaSleeping With a Man I Didn’t Sleep With

Never Say Never

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This title will be the epitaph on my tombstone; it’s a consistent theme in my life. Even to the point where, I hear myself say out loud ‘no, that’s not me. I don’t like that. I don’t want that.’ and in my mind, the little voice is mocking ‘ooh ooh ooh, you wait.’ I’ve even gotten into the habit of immediately telling anyone I date, ‘nothing I say or do is concrete.’ Why do I bring this up? -because I’ve started drinking wine. Yes. Wine. That alcoholic elixir which I’ve verbally abused and diminished vehemently, as if there was no deliberation in the matter. Here’s the truth, and I don’t say this to sound boastful, but it is the truth. … Read More

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Summer Romance

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Brindisi, Italy. Farthest southern tip                                                               Port call, ship launch, introductions with Duke University southern gent Long ship ride, overnight; to Corfu, Greece                                                         4 people, 1 bottle of Jim Beam whiskey between                                                             … Read More

BrockaSummer Romance