Doubt

BrockaHealth & Wellness, Mood Room, RelationshipsLeave a Comment

I’m still in a watching and waiting mode. It’s mainly a time management thing. The wants butt up against the responsibilities right now. And aside from work, my personal responsibilities are heavy. I feel so un-participatory in many factions of my life. Some days it’s a struggle to even be on social media. I don’t want my year-end to close with celebratory gifts and endless List of (ANY) thing to do-read-buy, etc… Tis the season for listicals… And this will be the first year in many I (am) will ignore any list of books to read. Most are shit anyway. Tapping into the library database means I can freely (literally and figuratively) stop and start as much as I want. … Read More

BrockaDoubt

The Particulars

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I’ve started and stopped this post a few times now. I wonder why a topic needs to be preplanned. What’s the subject, what will I write about?? I always review the ridiculously long drafts folder like any one will be the one, like ‘Done! That was easy!’ -but no, it’s not what I want to say now. I think about meeting a friend for a coffee/tea-cocktail-meal and how in this circumstance, we don’t come into the setting with a bullet point plan of what will be discussed. There is no agenda. You just show up. What we really want to do is show up. It’s not about having a plan and needing to know every detail and step to take … Read More

BrockaThe Particulars

The Juggle is Real

BrockaRelationships, Work2 Comments

I can gladly say I do not participate in the entrepreneur hustle any longer. Where there is often two sides to one coin in most debates, I am firmly in the reliable consistency camp. Not a day goes by in which I regret jumping ship from shakey waters to calm currents. Having said structure eliminates the freedom of creative time too. I say this as an observation. There is still an ephemeral part of myself, the multitaster of life’s buffet. A little bit of this, a little bit of that. Per my previous blog post on minimalism: I have already specifically chosen my various directions, interest, tiny projects, reading-writing goals, and family time pockets. My social life = the natural behavior … Read More

BrockaThe Juggle is Real

Can You Hear Me Now

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–no question mark My last boss thought I interrupted him too much. I did. I broke the habit…around him. I cringed inside every time I heard myself do it. Our facial expressions would conform into the same shape simultaneously, as his frustration-fueled anger matched my internal disgust at not having nipped the terrible habit in the bud. When I interrupt you I’m being anxious, I’m excited. Know when I interrupt, it’s because I know where you are and I feel like I can anticipate where you are going. But it’s downright awful and rude, too; don’t get me wrong. I’ve become a  much better listener as I’ve gotten older. I really like mindfully paying attention. As simple as it sounds, it’s … Read More

BrockaCan You Hear Me Now

Perfume

BrockaMood Room, RelationshipsLeave a Comment

It’s funny. I’m not a perfume wearer. An occasional spritz. Similar to my lipstick wearing, I’m non committal. Frankly, perfume gags me. Especially the sweet stuff. A man who wears a sweetish cologne vexes me. A man should only smell cloyingly sweet if he’s a baker. I would prefer no person wear any recreational scent, but this blog has already covered pheromones, so I won’t get into it again. Really, a man should smell like a man. I have no problem telling even my mother, ‘yuck, roll the window down’ if we’re riding in the car together. Or calling her ahead and saying ‘I have a headache, please don’t wear perfume’. She’s religious about her use. She’s the one to … Read More

BrockaPerfume