Pardon

BrockaMusic, WorkLeave a Comment

-as a statement, not a question. Sometimes it needs saying. I have never used the word pardon as an apology. I say pardon in the office to rehear what you said. Always better than ‘what?’ Here, now, I say pardon to alleviate myself. I only want to acknowledge where readers have felt a discordant pulse in what I may usually put out. It’s interesting where our insecurities lie, where I have found mine to rise: after I’ve expressed too much, shared too much, given too much. Immediately I feel an equal pull. I want to retract, regress, refrain. Under this debate… I feel a resonance and in moderate harmony with feminist: the when and the why we silence ourselves! This … Read More

BrockaPardon

Stranger. I want to say

BrockaArt, Books, MusicLeave a Comment

In a rare moment of Twitter scrolling, I came across a many promoted or adverted tweets. It was a female musician’s picture of her erect profile standing on a couch, walking upon it. It immediately reminded me of my own Ep cover image. We are both on a couch evoking an Egyptian vibe. I resonated. Saved you for later. I’ve searched again for her image and can’t find it :/ Sadly, I do not listen to a lot of music anymore. I listen to podcasts and books. I have few moments of music listening and fewer moments of music writing right now. When I do, I am giving a significant damn though! Know this. I will be back in the … Read More

BrockaStranger. I want to say

Ode to Sleep

BrockaHealth & Wellness, Mood Room, MusicLeave a Comment

From where I sit: I’ve slept ~6 hours in the last two nights, each. This.is.no.bueno.for.me. Zombie-esque. 7.5 hours is my minimum. I hate everything otherwise! I don’t verbalize it as such, but I think it. I think it so hard. I am concrete being drug through mud. Over the years, under the guise of this fog, I’ve made objective observations. The experience has repeated itself enough, I can somewhat rise above it. There’s always the general anger over the circumstance; the physical ache within my self, my body; the negative thoughts…The real fist punches are the negative thoughts. Now an observer of them, I can classify them as ‘other’, as apart from me and very circumstantial. I’ve learned to overcome … Read More

BrockaOde to Sleep

Fresh

BrockaMusic, Religion, Travels, WorkLeave a Comment

Every time I think or say the word fresh, I think ‘fresh to death’ Terrible. What is wrong with me [no punctuation] This last time my computer crashed I lost all my voice memos from my iphone, thus icloud upload on the Mac. These were the 50+ song ideas I hadn’t actualized just yet. It wasn’t like losing sentimental things in a fire; I know that experience. I wasn’t so devastated. I thought it a fresh start. I’m not so obtuse as to believe that every rhyme I sing or melody I want to turn into song is something immediately great. Is anything for a perfectionist ever ready…Most everything is shit. Most rough drafts are shit. ‘Good riddance’ I thought. … Read More

BrockaFresh

Sleep, Perchance to Dream

BrockaHealth & Wellness, Mood Room, MusicLeave a Comment

I love sleep. It is my favorite pastime, the favorite part of my day and best part of my diet, the secret to recovery and longevity. Ask any model what she does before a shoot or a runway show, every single one will say drink lots of water and sleep, even before working out. As much as I love it, I don’t do it well, such as why I am also a big proponent of power naps. Back in 1995 NASA did a study on the perfect nap time duration. They could’ve called to ask me; i’ve known since I was 8, it’s about 25 minutes. I’m so sensitive to external stimuli, all conditions┬áhave to be pretty perfect for a … Read More

BrockaSleep, Perchance to Dream