This Here Now

BrockaBooks, Mood Room, PoliticsLeave a Comment

When I try to propel myself to participate in social media, I just think NO. Why? Some things I want to say have already been said. Literally today, i read a Hemingway quote compressing an entire post I wrote, and I felt validated about redundancy. I.just.can’t. And yet, I’m physically engaged. My dreams are so intense and real and tangible and intuitive. My conversations explain, answer questions, intrigue, deliberate, and help heal -hopefully. Everything else is noise. The external behaves matter-of-factly, thus is closed to listening or negotiation. And so, I can only be in my watching and waiting mode. Still. I want to believe I’m building up a new momentum, but I don’t want anyone reading this to anticipate. … Read More

BrockaThis Here Now

Spill

BrockaHistory, Mood RoomLeave a Comment

Word spill. (byline: Fake News is Still News) Surprise! Not a Sunday. I’ve been mentally working on a blog post of sources-articles-evidence refuting current thought; refuting current animosity. I’m still gleeful while others are depressed and despondent. I caught a few minutes of NPR this eve sharing how busloads of people from multiple cities are caravaning into D.C. from just as many multiple cities to both celebrate and protest Trump’s inauguration on January 20th. There were protest clips from Bush’s inauguration. [every time there is a comparison in a news feed, consider why the author-producer chose it] It’s fucking exciting, regardless. It really is the same intensity as Obama’s win. New-different-brave-scary. No one knows what to expect. No one knows. … Read More

BrockaSpill

The Buzz

BrockaMood Room, Politics, Relationships, Religion, ScienceLeave a Comment

I have wanted to retaliate all week. Throw out an argument to an argument. Kept mum instead -worth it. Listening and silence, still in the waiting and watching mode. I don’t have the words or the prose, because there is so much noise currently; who would hear, who would care? And I don’t want to write just to be on defense. To be human is to have pain and to solve problems, yet this doesn’t mean I need to picket every pain and investigate every problem. I take things in stride. I am focusing on my immediate here and now. And I will not shout in a crowd of screamers. I will not participate. We feel what we feel and … Read More

BrockaThe Buzz

Doubt

BrockaHealth & Wellness, Mood Room, RelationshipsLeave a Comment

I’m still in a watching and waiting mode. It’s mainly a time management thing. The wants butt up against the responsibilities right now. And aside from work, my personal responsibilities are heavy. I feel so un-participatory in many factions of my life. Some days it’s a struggle to even be on social media. I don’t want my year-end to close with celebratory gifts and endless List of (ANY) thing to do-read-buy, etc… Tis the season for listicals… And this will be the first year in many I (am) will ignore any list of books to read. Most are shit anyway. Tapping into the library database means I can freely (literally and figuratively) stop and start as much as I want. … Read More

BrockaDoubt

The Particulars

BrockaHealth & Wellness, Mood Room, Relationships, WorkLeave a Comment

I’ve started and stopped this post a few times now. I wonder why a topic needs to be preplanned. What’s the subject, what will I write about?? I always review the ridiculously long drafts folder like any one will be the one, like ‘Done! That was easy!’ -but no, it’s not what I want to say now. I think about meeting a friend for a coffee/tea-cocktail-meal and how in this circumstance, we don’t come into the setting with a bullet point plan of what will be discussed. There is no agenda. You just show up. What we really want to do is show up. It’s not about having a plan and needing to know every detail and step to take … Read More

BrockaThe Particulars