Apology Tour

BrockaMood RoomLeave a Comment

I don’t cut people any slack. I’m your worst boss. I’m a hard shell with high standards. Few see me or know me as emotional. But the center is soft.

I hover over my every move and analyze my every thought, so why wouldn’t I project this behavior onto you? Who do you think you are?! I don’t cut myself any slack. I have the right to offend.

Everything to me is a literal observation. This is why I straddle the line of autism, this is why I find sarcasm NOT FUNNY or sarcastic. I even hate the word! Shoot me before I will watch a late night comedian. I find sarcasm irritating and annoying. I get along better with paradox and irony, though. I am literal, and it’s hard for me to relax with your relaxed. I see you as… simple.

Now considering that I elevate myself to such a behavior -I feel in an unconscionable way- the nobility in placing others at the same high standard. This is unfair and unrealistic, obviously. You call me a bitch. You call me hard. I agree. But I see you as soft.

The infrequent moments I am reminded or am honest with myself -when I sit and accept, or apologize to myself for feeling the need to- there is no guilt here. How To Stop Feeling Guilty

I am also soft. Don’t take it personally, because it really is, literally, personal. Resentment is often jealousy.

Addendum:

I am amending where I lashed out. I’m communicating where I shut down. I’m revisiting where I left town early, to avoid. I’m acknowledging and accepting where there was shame. If you can forgive me…

I am consistently forgiving myself.

Be Sociable, Share!
BrockaApology Tour

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *